Never Look Back
by Swordess Rya
Summary: In times where all is lost, I stare out to you, waiting for you to come back to me...This has been posted before but I put it on my new account. EC Fic
1. Remember When

Disclaimer: Well, everyone should know that I do not only not own Phantom of the Opera, I do not own even the CD…what a pathetic person I am: ( There is something else I do not own, I do not own any of the characters or any of the places that are in this story other than Raoul's home. I do, however, own the story plot and certain songs that are used in this story…some of the songs will be from other bands and singers, and you will all be informed when they are used.

Some of you may know me as **greivor of the souls, **but I have had difficulties with that account so I shall soon be deleting it, so if this story sounds familiar, it is most likely because I posted it on my other account a long time ago.

Anyway, onto Chapter One, Remember When

Chapter One: Remember When

She never spoke to the house workers, or the guests, she never said one word…not even to me. She sat on the windowsill, staring into the emptiness of the world. Each day she sits there, never looking away from the picture of the country. She has been staring at this scenery for so long that she could have told you where each leaf hung on each oak tree. Her brown eyes that once shown with childhood innocence not just three months before now held nothing but emptiness.

I knew that it was for one reason and one reason only…she only thought of her life during that horrid incident with _him_. She had never been the same since she had looked back at him as I rowed us back to safety. I think that he still processes her mind, forcing her to think only of his hideous face and his pitiful voice. There was nothing that she could ever see in him, there was only a monster whom had deceived her into thinking that he was her Angel of Music.

Still, her eyes never left the window, but they did not see the woods that stood there. No, she saw past them and her eyes only noticed the Parisian Opera House that lay over twenty miles from that very window. She saw only devastation and sorrow. She only saw what _he _wanted her to see. Her soul was still consumed by the monster in the mask.

XX

This silence still continued for two more weeks before a light rapping continued to dance on the wood of the front door late in a dark November evening. The staff had retired for the evening and I sat in the front room, staring at Christine as she continued to stare out the window. The noise continued, never ceasing for even one moment. This strange unannounced visit got me worried that it was someone in my family coming to tell me that my father had passed on.

After several more seconds of this continuous rapping, I got up with a groan and walked briskly over to the cherry-wood door. When I opened the door, there was a short man with red hair and freckles. He looked like a nobleman, but you could tell by the way he held himself that he was nothing more than a servant or a messenger boy. Still, he gawked at me before I glared at him and he seemed to come out of his trance and looked at me once more before he looked down at the envelope in his hands.

"I'm Victor," The man's voice faltered and he once again looked at me before he looked down at the envelope once again. Apparently this was one of Victor's first times delivering a message and he was starting to annoy me as he continued to stare down at his hands.

"Well, what are you here for, Victor?" I asked, my patience running low and my exhaustion was starting to catch up with me.

"I have a message for Miss Daae," He still sounded nervous, but still, he got the words out of his mouth. After peering behind me into my mansion he turned back to me and asked politely, " May I come in and give it to her?"

I knew that she would not speak to the man, nor would she read the letter. I knew that this man was wasting his time, but I had a feeling that he would not take 'no' for an answer. I lead him through the grand hallway and towards the front room, warning him that she probably would not talk to him or accept the message. Yet, Victor still seemed determined to give it to her. This man was an unusual one of sorts. It seemed that he had never been sent out to deliver a message, but yet he still seemed used to relaying messages at the same time. He was a very strange man.

It was not until we reached the door to the front room did I notice that the message he had had a skull as the seal. I went pale and leaned against the door that I was just about to open. I thought that we had physically escaped that monster. Though the woman I loved never said anything to me, I thought that this man would never be seen by either of us again.

"Is something wrong, monsieur?" Victor asked when he saw me lean against the door. "You are deathly pale sir." I looked at him a moment later, my color slightly coming back. I shook my head and sighed as I opened the door to her just staring out of the window, just as I had expected. Victor strolled into the room and stopped right before the edge of the windowsill.

"Mademoiselle Daae, I have a message for you," His voice was shy, but professional. Still, he received no answer, not even a glance his way. I noticed that Victor whispered something into her ear and she immediately turned to him with wide eyes and accepted the envelope with a small thank you…the first words she had spoken since we had left the monster's lair.

"I'm sorry, Monsieur de Chany, but could you give me and Mademoiselle Daae a moment?" The question seemed innocent, but there was something about the way that he asked. It was over cautious and mysterious. But I left, nonetheless. Though he asked me to give them a moment he never said that I could not listen to the conversation from the other side of the door.

"He is dying, Christine…" How dare the bastard call her by her first name and not mademoiselle? "He told me not to come, but I've found a note that he wrote to you only a few short hours after the mob came and I thought that you should read it." There was silence before I heard her voice once again fill my ears with the music she once always had.

"Victor, I wish to see him, but I can't. Raoul de Chany will not allow me to leave this horrible place…" Her voice trailed off. Anger at me and sorrow filled her voice with each word that she spoke. "I wish that I could be with him, but I will not be allowed to leave this place. He is keeping me a prisoner. Erik acted as though I was his prisoner, but I knew that if I asked him that he would lead me back to my old dressing room."

There was a sigh and the sound of a chair being sat in. "I love Erik, but there will never be another chance for me to see him without Raoul coming and forcing me back here. Victor, I don't know what the hell to do!" This was in a quiet shout, but it echoed off of the walls, causing it to be heard clearly outside of the front room. The words ripped me into two knowing that I was the cause of all of her pain and suffering. But she had brought me up to the rooftop of the Opera House and agreed to a marriage, she was the one that had said she loved me…she was the one that left with me after I had risked my life for her. She had brought this all on herself.

"Victor, I need to see him no matter what," These words were spoken in complete determination and it brought more pain to my heart that she was willing to talk to someone she did not know rather than to speak to me. Before I could hear anymore of her love for the monstrous murderer that had nearly killed me before her very eyes I walked away and up into my bedroom…the bedroom that was supposed to be for her and I once we got married.

XX

I knew Raoul had heard the whole thing, his footsteps were hard and pain filled. Still, I knew that he finally needed to learn the truth about the whole thing. Why I never spoke to him and why we never actually got married…why I did not love him.

Victor looked at the door as he heard the stomping up the stairs and after we heard the sound of one of the doors upstairs being slammed he turned back to me with one eyebrow raised. I shook my head and looked at him with a small smile on my face…the first one that I had had since I left Erik.

"Victor, in all my time knowing you I have not yet been disappointed about the fact that whenever you are around someone always ends up running off in anger," Though this was to be a joke, there was only a deep sadness in my voice. True, I had known him only for three months, but it always seemed that he brought tears to someone's eyes.

"Well, that is why he hired me, Christine," Though I knew who he was talking about, I had to ask him just to know that I was not the only one whom remembered his name. There was a complete silence for a moment before there was a sigh coming from Victor before he said something.

"That is why I was hired by Erik," His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was still heard by me, the person that longed to hear it from someone else's mouth…to prove that I was not insane. I knew that people did know about the Phantom of the Opera, but very few people knew about the man behind the mask, the man named Erik. No one seemed to notice that there was something strange about the Phantom, if he was a ghost then how could he have kidnapped me and touched me like he was a real man.

He was a real man, he was Erik. Though he had tricked me into thinking that he was my Angel of Music sent by my father and had deceived many into believing that he was the Opera Ghost, there was still nothing but a man trying to get me to noticed that he cared about me. There was only a man that was tortured for the way his face was. 'The Devil's Child' they had called him before he was rescued by Madame Giry and taken to live under the Opera House. There was nothing about him that could make him the Devil's Child in my eyes. To me he was just Erik, the real man, the man that had done everything in his power to make me happy…the man that I loved.

If anyone ever knew that I loved him other than Victor and Madame Giry, then I would be considered crazy and thrown into some sort of jail for the mentally disturbed. Many times I had thought myself as crazy, but then I would hear the angelic voice of his sing to me one of his long forgotten songs and I would realize that I was not crazy…I was just a helpless girl in love with a man that was pushed into the light, used like a circus animal for other's entertainment. A true man, one that would stand up for what he thought that he was most important to him and solved the problems that lay beforehand instead of pushing them aside until someone else fixed them.

There was silence around Victor and I, both deep in thought about the same man. I knew Victor had never seen Erik without his mask, but I knew that he accepted him as a man and not a monster. Victor was a man that observed the souls of people instead of their faces because what not many people knew was that the man was nearly blind and could only make out shadows and sudden movements. He looked like he was a normal man, but his eyes always wondered around as if they could not identify exactly where he was.

"Christine, I wish you the best and I hope that you'll see Erik sometime before he passes on," Victor said as he stood from his red velvet chair and stood before me. He reached his hand out for mine and I gladly accepted the friendly handshake. And with that he had disappeared into the dark of the night. The night that looked so much like Erik's heart, yet so different. For this night had no hope while Erik had one more chance at life…I would see to that.

Author's Note: I hope that this an okay story so far…I have written this for I was sad and angry with the ending of all of the Phantom stories…though I only have seen the 2004 movie and recently read Leoroux story, I still say that there should be a sequel, so that is why I am here…

Anyway, I hope that you like it!

Until next time,

**The Lost Eternity**


	2. Leave Me in Peace

A/N: Well, I am back, and I am sorry about the long wait for an update on this story, but I have been in sort of a writer's block and a lot of shit has happened to me in the last six or so months. But the story is back nonetheless. **I had to change accounts because yahoo had disabled my account because someone kept trying to hack into it, therefore I could not remember my password to fanfiction for my other account so I just thought this would be easier.**

Chapter Two: Leave Me in Peace

I had to leave Raoul and get to my angel, but it seemed that Raoul had other plans. Though he had left me in my misery, once he knew that I loved the one he despised most, he had decided that it was timefor me to forget the angel that haunted me for so many years.

He had locked me in a room that I knew was meant for him and me when we were married. Though I am sure he did not want me to overhear, I heard him speaking to the maids about wanting them to constantly have a servant with me.

That happened three days ago. It was right after Victor had left the De Chaney estate. Ever since then, one of the maids that Raoul had hired when he and I were first engagedhad been with me everywhere I went. But I really did not care. I knew that even if I was able to get out of the estate that I was currently imprisoned in, I still would have been hunted like a fox during it's final day as the hunted instead of the hunter. I would never be free of Raoul now. Just as I had been with the Phantom. I began to fear being under Raoul's watchful eye forever more.

"Mademoiselle Daae," The current maid watching over me quietly beckoned me out of my thoughts of what had happened in the last few days and back to my current reality that was still hard for me to think about.

I looked at her with the same blank expression that had dawned my face for the longest time. She looked taken aback, but she recovered quickly. She was a stout woman, light brown hair pulled loosely into a bun at the back of her head, and her eyes seemed to match perfectly with her hair, the same light brown hughes, but her eyes. They seemed old for her young face that could barely be older than my own. She came from England. That was all that I knew about her, I knew nothing about her past or what brought her to France...I did not even know her name.

"Monsieur De Chaney has asked for me to get you ready for a dinner party that he has been invited to this evening." Her French was brokenand she seemed to barely know what she was saying, but she was at least trying, which is more than I can say for some of the other maids that Raoul had aquirred for me.

"No." That was all that I said before I turned back to the curtains that were shut tightly against one another, blocking out the brightness from the sun that shone proudly above the estate. I was not allowed to have those curtains drawn back, for it showed the top of the one place that I desperately longed to be.

Though I knew that Erik was not there, due to the fact that one of my earlier visits from Victor he told me that Erik was currently living with him, I still wanted to be there, in the bed that he had created for me, willing myself to awake to his voice that has been apart of my life ever since I had been just a small child. But if I did not see him soon, I know I would never hear his voice again. Not his voice, but only the songs my memories would allow me to hear. The songs he sang of lonliness...

"But Mademoiselle..." I was once again brought out of my dreams of my angel once again by the sound of the brokend French. "The master wants you to be at his side tonight. He expects you to be waiting for him in the parlor by the time he gets back from the markets later tonight. Please just attend this with him for his sake." She was still looking at me with pleading eyes, but I was not loojing at her. I was watching the shadows of the birds outside fly accorss the cutains that hid my home from me. I could hear the birds chirpping merrily as they flew freely.

"Mademoiselle-" Her words were cut short when I turned back to her and this time looked at her with all of the pent up sadness that I had contained in myself for the last three months. She took a step back and looked at the floor with pity in her eyes. But I did not want her pity. I could not hold it in any longer. I had to release all of my emotions and longing for my fallen angel in the only way that I felt I could at that moment.

With a scream, I threw the corstet and bodice down that the scared woman before me held. When she heard my cry of pain and anguish, she had retreated to a corner and watched me with fear in her eyes. But I ignored her. I started sobbing as I began going through all of the drawers of the vanity that Raoul had bought me long ago, throwing all of the contents of the drawers onto the floor. The makeups and the perfume bottles shattered once they reached the wood of the floor. But I barely noticed the glass breaking all around me. When I found that there was nothing left in the many drawers, I looked up at the mirror and saw what I had become. My eyes were puffy from my sobbing, but they were sunken into their sockets. My eyes had become dull other than the tears that shone in them, showing nothing but sadness. And though my skin was still the creamy color it had always been, it clung to my bones, showing hardly anything between them.

Still sobbing, I fell to the ground, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through my hands and knees. I slowly turned to lean up against the vanity, my legs curled up to my chest. I buried my head into the small dent and continued to cry. I wanted to hear my angel again. I wanted to leave here. I wanted Raoul to understand what I needed rather than what he wanted.

"Mademoiselle?" A cautious voice in the back of my mind whispered. I knew that it was the maid, but I did not want to look up in fear that she would see my tears. Although it was rather pointless after she saw me breaking down just a few moments ago.

"Just...just leave me..." I whispered. "Just leave me in peace." I did not look up, even when I heard the door shut lightly and the sound of light footsteps walking down the large staircase.

XxX

"Christine!" I yelled as I walked into the house. Though I knew that she would not be there. Even though I knew it was a derastic measure to lock her up in this house, I knew that if I didn't, she would run back to the Opera House. I could not bear the thought of letting her become a servant to that beast! He would only use her for his own purposes, not aknowledge the fact that she had to be taken care of like a glass doll.

"Christine, it is time to leave!" I shouted up the stairs as I walked through the house. But there was no reply. I walked up the stairs, and entered the door to the right. Our room was in complete disarray. Broken bottles were scattered across the floor, spilling their contents all over the wood. The curtains had all been ripped off of the rods, the bedsheets were in a pile on the floor, absorbing all of the liquids from the bottles, and the vanity mirror. The vanity mirror was broken into hundreds of tiny pieces. I stared in awe at what used to be the finest room in this estate, as if it could magically disappear.

"Christine?" I whispered, I did not hear anything. My heart began to race as I walked through the room, looking for a sign of Christine. But there was none. The door squeaked behind me and I quickly turned, hearing glass break even more under my boots.

"Abigail, where is Mademoiselle Daae?" I asked the girl who stood in the doorway. Her eyes looked down at the floor, almost ashamed at the mess. She did not answer my question, but just continued to stare at the mess. "Abigail?"

"She is in your study, Monsiuer de Chaney." She whispered before she turned and walked down the stairs. I just stared at the the doorway before I walked to the study down the hallway.

A/N: This is just kind of a weird chapter, but the breakdown of Christine was needed. I am hoping that this gets more reviews than the first chapter. Thanks

The Lost Eternity

P.S. I am looking for a beta and if you are interested in becoming mine, e-mail me.


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